LATTERDAY STUFF...

Remember when we were hip deep in the quagmire called Vietnam? Nixon and Kissinger were at their wits end, and some wag said we should declare we've won and pull the troops out. Well, that didn't happen -- we lost and ran.

Condi is smarter. She says we've won and we're bringing our troops home. Iraqis can now organize their country and keep their own oil. It screws Cheney and Halliburton, and the neocons, but screw them. Cheney will probably end up in a penitentiary anyway, he's almost as rotten as Daddy Bush. Daddy Bush is probably the most rotten SOB the USA has ever produced. He makes Al Capone and Adolph Hitler seem like Sunday school teachers. If you don't believe me, Google up Sherman Skolnick, the Chicago court exposer.

Don Phelps
82nd Airborne family

JACOB WEISBERG

Slate's Jacob Weisberg collects Bushisms. George Bush is okay when he's reading words written by others on a teleprompter, but his free-falling speech when he's on his own is mind-boggling and sometimes funny. If you like these Bushisms you can check them out here .

Remember back in 1999 when we had the queston whether Bush was smart or just sly and dumb. I vote for dumb. For example:

"They want the Federal government controlling the Social Security like it's some kind of Federal program."

"It's clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil, more and more for our imports come from overseas."

"We'll let our friends be the peacemakers, and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."

"We don't believe in planners and deciders making decisions on behalf of Americans."

Don Phelps
WestCoastDems

WAR CRIMES

Do the Bushites, Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld and Rove, and their flunkies think they're going off into the mist in 2009? Torture and dropping Napalm and White Phosphorous on civilians are crimes. International crimes.

Maybe the ignorant of Utah and Idaho think Bush is going to Crawford but European countries will have warrants for our war criminals and will demand extraditions. Twelve years of Republican crap and five years of insanity, and here we are. It's time for our Blue states to collect all the sane people in the USA and form our own country. The rest -- the dummies -- won't be able to afford a war.

Don Phelps
WestCoastDems

MORE STUFF...

We can thank Cindy Sheehan and Bush's disastrous response to Hurricane Katrina for making the shut-down of Bush's Iraqmire not only possible but probable. Although they deny it, the Bushites read the polls, and can visualize impeachment, especially if the Dems control congress starting in 2007.

Bush will bring the troops home during 2006 and turn over a new leaf. He will become a nice guy, instead of the rat he has been all his life. As to Iraq, I'm sure his concern for that torn country is zero. I'm sorry for Iraq and I'm ashamed as an American for what Bill Clinton, and Bush 41 and 43 have done to them but their chances of making it is better if our army isn't there shooting their children.

Don Phelps
WestCoastDems

JUST STUFF...

A few points:

1. A scientist named Jones is working on how the WTC towers came down so uniformly -- especially Building 7, the short tower which was not hit by anything. Jones believes , as do I, that the lower I-beams were cut by explosives.

2. George Bush's grandfather was dealing with the German Nazis throughout WWll, even into the fifties. He helped smuggle 800 Nazis into the USA.

3. George's Dad, vice-president to Ronald Reagan, met with Iran officials when they had 60 American hostages and talked them into holding the hostages until after the election. The hostages were released the day Reagan-Bush were sworn in.

4. Get this -- remember John Hinckley who tried to assassinate Reagan? Well, the night before the shooting, Neil Bush, the vice-president's son, had dinner with Hinckley's brother. Heh heh heh heh heh heh

Don Phelps
WestCoastDem

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW...

Now I get it. We have Iraqis who are Muslims of the Shiite type and Muslims of the Sunni type and then we have Kurds. Americans say we should "stay the course" because if we leave, Iraq will be embroiled in a civil war. But we have a civil war already. This civil war is between Iraqis who love our occupation against Iraqis who hate our occupation, and us.

Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, both Democrats, are joined by Bush/Cheney et al, along with the whole Republican Party that think if we leave this civil war would be terrible. They don't realize our presence is causing the problem.

Two problems for us is that the president is stubborn and craves honor for being a war president, and Dick Cheney who doesn't give a damn about anything except his share in Halliburton's profits. Neither gives a damn about Americans or soldiers or our country.

Both Bush and Cheney are traitors. Both should be impeached and indicted.

Don Phelps
West Coast Dem

THE ANSWER

George Bush, Dick Cheney, Bill Kristol, and the entire congress seems to agree that we can't leave Iraq. If we were to "cut and run," Al Qaeda would take over.

Hey, I have an idea -- how about we place Saddam Hussein in charge? He knows all these people, he speaks their language, he's experienced in running a country, especially this one, and he's pals with Don Rumsfeld. Hell, no question, Saddam could be great. He could prevent Al Qaeda from moving in, and we could bring our troops home immediately.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems.

THE ANSWER

George Bush, Dick Cheney, Bill Kristol, and the entire congress seems to agree that we can't leave Iraq. If we were to "cut and run," Al Qaeda would take over.

Hey, I have an idea -- how about we place Saddam Hussein in charge? He knows all these people, he speaks their language, he's experienced in running a country, especially this one, and he's pals with Don Rumsfeld. Hell, no question, Saddam could be great. He could prevent Al Qaeda from moving in, and we could bring our troops home immediately.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems.

MISPLACED TRUST

When a person is elected for the first time to congress, he or she receives an office and a staff, and must take courses to learn the rules of operating. Soon elected officials are not residents of their old neighborhood any longer, their friends are different, and they quite quickly become different people.

All of their political intuitions switch from their grassroot supporters to their party's institutional policies. Belt-way intelligence is more finite than that of the grassroots, so when Electees go home, they become actors, and see their constituents as rubes. When a policy or a bill comes up, they hear from their voters by phone calls, e-mails and faxes, but the member doesn't see them; they're lumped together, counted pro or con and round-filed, while we Rooters get an automated answer.

I discussed this with Don Edwards, the congressman for the Sixteenth district of California, back in the 1970's, when I was working for him. In the present, we have roughly 70 percent of the voters wanting to pull the troops out of Iraq -- theycouldn't care less regarding the outcome. The beltway cocktail crowd is reluctant; only three democrats in the house voted to pull out.

Beware when the electorate is united on one issue, Democratic or Republican incumbent seats can be lost by ignoring the grassroots.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems

WASHINGTON POST IS PRO-WAR

The Washington Post editorial for Sunday is entitled "Irresponsibility Toward Iraq." In other words, "Stay The Course."

Since the Supremes ensconced Bush into the White House, the WaPo has been covering up for Bozo the Clown through thick or thin. In this last shot, Graham Jr. and his editors urge our congressional people to get together and stop the arguments. The people who want the troops out should listen to the two Joes -- Leiberman and Biden --because withdrawing would endanger us and our allies (read Israel).

So we have the Shiites shooting at the Kurdistas, both hoping we stay, and the Sunnistas shooting at everyone, while we have roughly 80 percent of theAmericans wanting to bring home the troops, and not caring what happens in Iraq. This argument proposing we stay the course until the last terrorist is dead is folly. The Islam religion holds 2.1 billion Muslims. The idea that withdrawal would endanger us is silly.

Does WaPo think the insurgents would invade New York? The same inane idea that our absence would cause a blood bath was used during the Vietnam fiasco. The obvious answer is "who cares?" The bathwater couldn't get any hotter than it is right now...

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems

THE WAR NATION

One need not be a historian to realize that our America is a war nation. If you don't believe it, just count our wars. We have a resume of fighting wars, and all were labeled wars to protect our freedoms, when only two dealt with our freedom from our cousins, the Brits.

The Brits are almost as jingoist as we are. We have two main political parties, and both are war-like as hell. We started shooting at our parent in 1776, and in 1812, and kept on keeping on shooting at the French, American Indians, the Mexicans, the Spanish, the Germans, the Japanese, the Germans and Italians, the Koreans, the Chinese, the Vietnamese, the Panamanians, the Grenadians, the Lebanese, and the Iraqis.

We have a Monroe Doctrine, if they breathe we'll take them on. We like it best when they're not white. We love it if they have a different religion. Both of our political parties are war-like. Americans are the quintessential bullies. They sacrifice their own innocent children's lives to satisfy their jingoist urges. Our religions are jokes, their leaders call down God's wrath on people they don't even know and urge the assassination of other nation's leaders.

Along with the two main parties we have had the American party, the Independent Party, the Reform Party, among others, but none lasted. What America sorely needs is a Peace Party. We need a Peace Party to control the jingoism boiling in the arteries of both Republicans and Democrats, all of whom are just aching to kick the hell out of someone.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems

LETTER TO NANCY...

They (The repukes) keeping giving you the chances to show you're really democrats, and you guys keep on showing the American people you're not. On Thursday, the SF Chronicle reported that Representative John Murtha, one of the most distinguished Democrats in Congress who is usually a hawk, said -- "Our troops have become the primary target of the insurgency. They are united against U.S. forces and we have become a catalyst for violence. The war in Iraq is not going as advertised. It is a flawed policy wrapped in illusion."

The article also pointed out that "House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi of California had no immediate reaction to the idea of a quick vote before Congress leaves Washington for two weeks."

You could have backed Murtha, but you didn't. If the war is based on lies, we should remove our troops like yesterday. What are you waiting for -- 58,000 dead soldiers?

The war is toast. Eight out of 10 Americans want our troops out now, not in 2006 or 2007 or 2008 but out NOW. You know, like NOW. This isn't algebra, it's not even arithmetic, it's 2 + 2 = OUT.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems

GEORGE BUSH CHAPS MY HIDE

I'm so sick of this frat-boy president and his insane coterie of Nazi crazies, I can't stand it. We all know now that the war is a criminal adventure and has nothing to do with 9/11, so why are we still fighting and dying for it? So the frat-boy won't need to confess his mistakes?

The enemy wears civilian clothing, so how do our troops recognize the terrorists? They can't, so they kill everything in sight -- men, women, children and even babies. This is another Vietnam. Mei Lei every day.

Our military is dropping white phosphorous on children and babies, which is a war crime, and is answerable in The Hague. Our government, our Department of Defense, and our CIA are torturing people in our names. I don't support white phosphorous, or torture on anyone for any reason.

I want to see Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and all their aides in handcuffs, interred into The Hague, and facing the rope.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems

THE AWARD

A Cuban scientist has developed a low-cost vaccine that prevents meningitus and pneumonia in small children. Vicente Bencomo was offered an award from the Technical Museum for Innovation in San Jose, Califonia but our State department refused him a visa. His visit would be not in our best interests. This cheap low-ball kind of crap is what we get when the Republican party is in charge. Ideology trumps science. This is why fifty million Americans hate Republicans.

They're bastards.

Don Phelps
Fascism will come wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.
SL

THE VETERANS


The veterans of the two world wars, as well as the veterans of the Korean Police Action, had their vet organizations captured by the Repukes. The American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars are as right-wing as they come.

Starting with Vietnam, and continuing with veterans of Panama, Grenada, and the two Gulf wars, the vets are mostly liberal. It's easy to see why -- 90 percent of the latter group saw combat -- while the former group, the geezers didn't. When they were in the service, they whined and cried and bitched and turned yellow. In fact, they were called "yellow bricks."

Now of course, they're all for staying the course because they're too old to be drafted, and they love to listen to draft-dodging chickenhawks like Bush and Cheney, and it's always about "our freedom."

One glaring fact, out of the 15 or 16 wars we have fought, only two had to do with our freedom -- the Revolutionary War of 1776, and the War of 1812. We started all the rest, and none of them had any connection to our freedom. Still, each year on our Veteran's Day, these old geezers listen to some chickenhawk draft-dodging snake-oil peddler telling them we're fighting for our freedom. Our freedom has always been our mantra for killing other people.

Don Phelps
Al Gore (before it's too late.)

SCOTTIE THE NITWIT...

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan asks Helen Thomas if she thinks Saddam Hussein should still be in power and occupy Kuwait. This loaded question is absurd -- Kuwait was cleared in the gulf war. As to Saddam the obvious answer, "Yes,we would be better off by 2000 + still-alive soldiers, more than 15,000 wounded, at least 100,000 dead Iraqis, and 4 zillion bucks.

Does Scott think differently? If so, he's a raging nitwit. Most of the Demo war-voter apologists got taken in by a carnival clown pretending to be president and now they are all are experts in getting out of Iraq. Most say stay the course, with modifications of course.

How to exit Iraq honorably is the problem. The WCDR exit panel unanimously agreed on a plan: Tomorrow all the National Guard and the Army Reserve troops be pulled out of Iraq. Next Monday the 82nd airborne troops, minus their officers, and all civilian contractors be pulled out. Then the following Thursday, 40,000 troops minus their officers will be pulled out. The following Monday, another 40,000 troops will be pulled, and so it goes on Mondays and Thursdays until only the officers and civilian employees are left, then pull them out.

Some people think that would cause chaos. Hey, we already have chaos. Believe me when we leave, the shooting will stop. We're the reason for the killing season. One of the most bizarre phenom is senate democrats who think we're fighting terrorists. WE are the terrorists, when we leave, Iraqis will solve their own problems. The idea that we can offer solutions to another country when we have no solutions for ourselves must be a Republican idea. No Democrat is that dumb.

We must get out now. Anybody who thinks otherwise has got to be a nitwit.

Don Phelps
Al Gore for 2008

I DON'T LIKE HOLIDAYS...

I don't like holidays, we have too many. New Years is for sobering up after Christmas. Thanksgiving is nice because some poor woman has to roast a turkey, make mashed potatoes, gravy, yams, a salad with olives and dressing, side dishes, two pies with ice cream, and then gets stuck cleaning up the mess while the gluttons recline in the living room watching football. Thanks alot.

We have President's birthdays, and then there's Easter and Halloween for the little kids. The Fourth of July is noisy as hell, and has lost its true meaning over the years. We love war, so we have two holidays for it -- Memorial day and Veteran's day. We also have days off for the hell of it.

I don't like holidays. I don't don't like the troops either. I don't support holidays and I don't support the troops. Troops are saps and they're baby killers. I don't like the Clintons very much, and I hate anything named Bush. I wouldn't eat a can of beans if it was named Bush. I hate Sam Bush the fiddler, and I love Bluegrass music.

You notice holidays are always hooked to the weekends? They do that on purpose, so the holiday can screw up the weekend. Ever get a toothache after five on Thursday? Well, sorry, no dentist til Monday. It's the same with getting a mechanic or getting mail on the weekend. Weekends have become holidays.

You read me, Babe?

Don Phelps
I like Al Gore.

TATTLETALES

Pat Robertson, the un-Christian Christian is tattletaling again. Seems like the folks in Dover, Pennsylvania ditched eight un-Intelligent Design bozos off their school board and Pat jumped right on that sinful action.

"Playing with God again eh? Better watch out, you might have a hurricane and God won't give a fig about it. Remember when Disney had a gay day? I warned Orlando they might have a natural disaster and God wouldn't help out."

Well, Orlando didn't have any natural disaster. Little Chicken Pat is always warning people about God's wrath.

Pat should switch to Santa Claus -- he's predictable as hell. Fox News' Bill O'Reilly, bonded to Pat in spiritual venality, also is a tattletale. San Francisco turned off Bush's recruit hunters and O'Reilly, looking around for his gin bottle, warned SF they might lose their Federal money. I sent a note to Bill, reminding him SF pays money not vice versa. Both Pat and Bill should lighten up on the booze.

Don Phelps
ps Both Clintons are buddies to Rupert Murdoch
pps Al Gore in 2008

A FIFTH OF GIN A DAY KEEPS REASON AND SANITY AWAY...

Pat Robertson is out there talking for God again. Some town in Pennsylvania voted out the Intelligent Design school board members and Pat warned the town that maybe God might be upset. He told them if something bad happens to their town, don't bother calling upon God, because "you just voted him out of your town."

Pat's never considered that maybe evolution IS Intelligent Design.

And Bill O'Reilly speaks just as loudly for the President. He said schools across this nation, especially those in urban, low-income areas, should let recruiters in lure high-school kids into the Army. But O'Reilly says schools have a choice -- "Okay, no recruiters, no federal money."

Bill forgets that California is a Blue state and SENDS money. We pay the Red States expenses.

Both gentlemen should go lightly on the gin.

TO THE HAGUE...


Sooner or later, 2006, or 2008, or whenever, the democrats will be in charge, and Bush and his entire evil cabal will be out of office. They think they will retire or write some books, or join a think tank.

Well, I have news for them. They're going to be indicted as war criminals. They invaded another country for no good purpose, and made war on innocent civilians. They bombed them, shot them, dropped Phosphorus chemicals on them and burned and melted them. They killed thousands of American troops and maimed thousands more. They abuse and torture those they don't kill.

These people are insane as hell, and they think they're going to walk away from this ? I wouldn't be surprised if all of them hang. Cheney, a nazi if ever there was one, thinks he's going to go fishing. Bush thinks he's going to go to his pig farm. All of them -- ALL of them are criminals, and their reckoning is inevitable.

Don Phelps

GOD SAVE US FROM WALMART


We need to get rid of these Walmart traitors. Many voted for CAFTA, and they are a disgrace -- a blight upon this country, Just to name a few -- Marion Berry, Ark., Sanford Bishop, Ga., Dan Boren, Okla., G. K. Butterfield, N.C., James Clyburn, S.C., Bud Cramer, Ala., Henry Cuellar, Texas; Artur Davis, Ala., Diana DeGette, Colo., Harold Ford, Tenn., Charles Gonzalez, Texas; Ron Kind, Wis., Jim Matheson, Utah; Dennis Moore, Kan., Mike Ross, Ark., John Salazar, Colo., Vic Snyder, Ark., John Tanner, Tenn., Mike Thompson, Calif., Bennie Thompson, Miss., Ed Towns, N.Y., and Al Wynn, Md.

I note a few things about the Wal-Mart 22. A disturbing number of them were members of the Congressional Black Caucus (Bishop, Butterfield,Clyburn, Davis, Ford, Thompson, Town and Wynn). I know Harold Ford is running for the Senate and needs money. But why should any labor union give him a dime if he's protecting Wal-Mart? (Alternet)

Don Phelps
I'm still stupid, but I'm too old to be dangerous.

...AND THEN THERE'S COLIN POWELL

Let's review Colin Powell. To start out let's review his start. No West Pointer, Colin joined the ROTC as a cadet in college, then joined the army as a lowly lieutenant. Throughout his college days he never exceeded a GPA better than a C. Colin wasn't a rocket scientist. His smarts closely reflect the IQ of the president. But in America, especially in Republican America, sucking power trumps intellectual power. Every time.

Colin isn't very bright but he can kiss ass as good as anyone. He's also a coward. Basically a decent person, and knowing his masters were bastards, he caved in; he didn't even have the fortitude to resign. He's the quintessential talking and walking example of cognitive dissonance.

Now he whines and regrets on ABC to Barbara Walters, a fellow ass-kisser, wishing he wasn't/isn't a coward, who knew better but didn't have the guts to keep himself away from treason.

Colin is pathetic.

Don Phelps

Bush looked into Putin's eyes and saw his soul. Putin looked in Bush's ear and saw daylight on the other side. (Durst)

GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET...

Since Bush, we've been going to hell in a handbasket. Our congress looks like Nazi Germany, and then there's Iraqmire and the idiot Patriot Act, and Fascist Repukes who can't find their asses with either hand.

The hysterical FBI was recently notified that a terrorist was going to bomb Las Vegas (a good idea), and some dumb dipshit named Billy took his team in and started checking all the tourists in all the hotels. Turns out Billy is the deputy director of the FBI. Billy, please. We already have a Tommy -- Tommy Franks -- some Westpoint retard who spent his entire life eating meals we taxpayers paid for. Maybe Billy and Tommy could do lunch some day.

It's depressing. We have Republicans in charge of the House, the Senate, and the courts, who have no regard for our Constitution or our government, and are doing their best to destroy both. Then, there's our innocent and gullible Democrats who don't want to let any light between them and George Bush-- yes, they said that. Our latest hero is Harry "I'm senile" Reid who voted for both the war and the Bankruptcy bill. Some hero. SomeDemocrat. We could move to Canada, but they don't want any depressed Americans.

Merry Fitzmas.

Don Phelps

TOAST...

George Bush turned out to be a guy I wouldn't like to have a beer with. I don't like Bush and I don't like Beer. I would like to have a cup of coffee with Al Gore, our next president. Al is the most qualified person in America to be president. He already defeated our alcoholic cocaine-head moron by a half million votes in 2000. (eat your heart out Katharine Seelye and Sandra O'Connor).

Bush/Cheney are on a dive-bomber ride toward the pits of impeachment, imprisonment, and the pits of derogation and humiliation, and they deserve every minute of it. Both are toast. These right-wingnuts comprise only 31 percent of the electorate, the rest of us are sane.

I'm guessing the name "Bush" is a political curse and will be for years. I won't even eat beans that have the name Bush on the can. I won't even listen to Sam Bush play his mandolin, and he's very good. Chris Wolf, Joseph Wilson's attorney, said all America is sad about all of this, and all we citizens feel bad.

I don't. I'm delighted.

Don Phelps

p. s...Pat Robertson is an atheist, he knows he'll never need to face a mythical Jesus.

JUST STUFF...

Some incidentals:

...Both Laura Bush and Lynne Cheney take marching orders from Ma Bush. Yes, George's psychotic mother decides what the "girls" can and can't be and what they can say or do.

...Russia has developed a defense against attacking aircraft by generating a magnetic field in the shape of an inverted cone. It works this way -- a city that has one of these cones covering it can't be bombed or attacked because the cone's magnetic field destroys the attacker as it enters the field. This technology has been handed over to Iran, and Syria according to this report. This is why Iran is talking tough about America and Israel.

...Vladimir Putin is a lawyer and his wife has a Ph-D. The rarely smiling Putin, whom George Bush calls, "Pootie-Poot," when asked of his opinion of Bush, said "no comment."

...Bush has three more years to embarrass himself, and the odds are that he will repeatedly do so. He loves to campaign, but he hates to govern, because he's so lousy at it. He has said "The five years have been agonizing." --I think eventually he will resign.

Don Phelps
Westcoast Dems

"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." ~~ Sinclair Lewis

THE PIG FARM

It now seems like the vise jaws of justice named Fitzgerald and Reid are clamping the vicious and treasonous juices out of the Bush/Cheney poisonous fruit. Fitzgerald has Scooter in a tightening noose, he talks or he does the time for his friends.

Harry Reid has Sen Pat Roberts, the rat from Kansas in a corner, and Bush/Cheney are toast. When Fitz and Reid lay it down, the Wilsons will pick it up with civil suits. All of these right-wingnut fascists will face either hard time or public denigration and disgrace. Our alcoholic cocaine-head hero in the White House will be in a penitentiary or hiding on his pig farm in Crawford, with Cindy in his ditch and the Hague patiently waiting for him and his friends.

Don Phelps

CAN YOU HEAR US NOW, DLC?

The reason for the Iraqmire has now been exposed by the Downing Street Memos, by Ambassador Joe Wilson, and by special investigator Patrick Fitzgerald. Americans now know that the war in Iraq was based on malicious lies. So why are we still slaughtering and being slaughtered in Iraq?

The only people beside Bush/Cheney and their White House Iraq Group (WHIG) who still support this madness are the unthinking Freepers. The rest of us -- 8 out of 10 -- say stop this insanity and bring the troops home now. The insurgents are blowing up our troops with IEDs, triggering them with remote channel changers, and our troops are blowing up homes and killing Arab women and children.

Our alcoholic, cocaine-head hero in the White House couldn't care less. He started killing as a boy, blowing up frogs with firecrackers. His head is one brain too short, and he doesn't care about people. Bush is a born-again Christian who gives people the finger and calls people "mother f-----'s" and thinks torture is good, yet he is loved by the James Dobsons, the Jerry Falwells and the Pat Robertsons and their blind and uneducated followers. With malice aforethought, they're turning our America into a latter-day Nazi Germany.

We Dem grass roots are not going to vote for any Democrat who has blood on his or her hands. That means Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and John Kerry can forget it. We must fix the Democratic Party, and we're starting with the DLC.

We need Al Gore in the White House so the blood flow can be stopped.

Don Phelps
WestcoastDems

INSURGENTS, OCCUPIERS -- ALL VICTIMS OF THE RIGHT

The Iraqi resistors/insurgents make homemade Improvised Explosive Devices (IED). These bombs are triggered by remote controls much like garage door openers and VHF channel changers. When they see an American military vehicle approach, they trigger their device and kill our troops. Meanwhile, our troops are blowing up civilian buildings and homes, killing Arab children. Our alcoholic cocaine-head hero in the White House doesn't care. He started killing as a boy, blowing up frogs with firecrackers.

If you're a Republican, are you proud?

Don Phelps.